The super adventures of a rogue seal tamer

Dear Sir
I am writing to complain about the recent television advertisement where a farmer was portrayed as walking through a suburban backyard. This advert whilst amusing neglects to include a few important points.

The other day Mildrid and I were putting on a Pinky and Perky show for the local school children. When lo and behold a farmer crossed our fence; immediately he set about felling our fernery and allowing his cows to defecate in our swimming pool. He then evicted us from our own home under the premise that we weren’t doing anything with the land anyway. Not being one to raise a fuss we took our pigs and went to the neighbour’s house. After about five minutes he was over there, now demanding to be called lord Chumly-Warner. He offered the neighbours a small sum of money and brought their house. After several weeks of land grabbing has gone by, we decided to go for a swim in our old swimming pool.

When we arrived at our old house the farmer told us that our faces were hideous and that we would scare his stock. Thus we were denied access to our own swimming pool/house for the simple fact we lacked the resources that he had earlier taken from us.

In future I expect your advertisement will show more puppets and self appointed lords of the manner.

Thank you
Concerned Viewer