The super adventures of a rogue seal tamer

I’m a seal trainer, as you may have guessed. Before all of you coral hugging mung bean sacks get all up in arm and throw red paint at me, hear me out, we don’t mistreat the seals. Yes we give them a good kicking when they misbehave but we don’t mistreat ‘em. Why the other day I was saying to Mildrid (my wife) the seals are well looked after, when suddenly Mildrid (my head seal) tried to escape. Mildrid is not very fast so I caught her and gave her a good kicking; the seal on the other hand was an entirely different kettle of herring. By the time I had caught her she had over turned a couple of geriatrics and started producing weapons of mass distraction.

My boss Pete the vertically challenged pirate was not happy. He looked up at me and said “Penguin Duty” which I must go and do now…

Mildrid stop eating those rotton fish, there for Mildrids dinner! There’s plenty of seal food for you over there.